The Origins of S.O.A.P. (The Society of Adventurous People)

People often ask me why I’m friends with Claudia
Von Frawd, and I still have yet to devise a suitable
answer—partly due to the fact that I strongly doubt
“friends” is the correct title for our parasitic acquaintance.

Is a flea friends with a dog? Do deer feel fondness for the
ticks clinging to their fur? Do the vines that scale up and
strangle trees while stealing their nutrients feel any shame or
guilt for their devious deeds?

No, Lady Claudia was not my friend. However, as far as I
could tell, I wouldn’t be rid of her until the day she had sucked
every ounce of joy and life out of my veins…

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