Writing Through Pain
A while ago, I wrote an article about writing through pain.
Not just mental or emotional pain, but physical pain.
The type of pain that you can’t stop thinking about because it’s always there—sharp, constant, and debilitating.
My hope was that I’d never have to experience pain like that again, but the past couple weeks were filled with unplanned surprises…
But before I get into all that, let’s start with the good things first.
The Good
I spoke at a conference!
If you know me, you probably wouldn’t think it’s a big deal for me to speak in front of a large crowd of people.
I’m good at being outgoing, and I do my best to be friendly whenever I speak to anyone.
But honestly, I get really nervous talking to people.
I often overthink words. My words, or other people’s words. Which can lead to a lot of unnecessary anxiety.
When I speak to a LOT of people, my nerves usually get even worse…
My hands or knees will shake, I’ll talk super fast and stumble over my words (or blurt out things I didn’t mean to say), and sometimes I’ll even forget whatever I was going to say.
But over the past couple years, things have changed. I don’t make as many mistakes, and even if I feel shaky, it doesn’t affect me as much.
So, what exactly changed?
My confidence.
And what helped me gain more confidence?
Exposure therapy (AKA I did the thing that terrified me over and over again until it terrified me a little less).
It’s not the nicest way to get over fear, but I can’t pretend that it didn’t work.
I’ve spoken to several groups now, of all different ages—tweens, high schoolers, young adults, middle aged adults, and even some retirees.
Each time I spoke to a group, my presentations would get better and better. And this conference was probably my best experience yet.
No shaking, words flowed nicely (even though I threw my notes out the window), people laughed at all the jokes I made, and most importantly, I felt good about my speech the minute it ended (which is unheard of).
I’m not afraid to say yes to speaking engagements anymore.
I love talking about writing, books, and storytelling.
And most importantly, I’m passionate about encouraging people.
So I’m not going to let fear or self-consciousness stand in the way of my doing that anymore.
Besides speaking at the conference, I was also given a table to set up and sell my books! I wasn’t at all prepared with any pretty decorations or anything this time, but it was still a lot of fun to meet new people and talk about books and writing.
Now for the unpleasant surprises…
The Bad
We had not one, but two flat tires on our way home from the conference. One happened forty-five minutes after we left the conference, and the second, when we were only four hours away from home.
Thankfully, we were able to get new tires and get the car fixed, but we were stranded for quite a while before then.
The second unfortunate event happened only a day after we made it home. I began experiencing physical pain. At first, it wasn’t so bad, but it kept growing worse.
So instead of jumping back into my writing/editing routines as I originally planned to do, I found myself relegated to bed rest for the next few days, while trying not to cry out whenever the pain would get especially intense.
I had scarcely recovered from the pain, when I got sick. I’m almost fully recovered now, and I’m finally back to writing, but I have to admit…
Experiencing all these things one after another was frustrating.
Being stuck in the middle of nowhere, then not being able to write or get out of bed because of pain, then recovering from all that only to come down with a sore throat, is not my idea of a fun time.
But despite all those frustrations, I’m grateful.
The bad stuff that happened to me can’t erase the amazing experience I had at the conference.
Not being able to work or write for a while has made me appreciate my to-do list a little more.
And being under the weather ensured that I rested and took care of myself properly so I could recover as fast as possible.
The Bookish
I had intended to publish an article about story tropes this past week, but because of the many setbacks, I’ve shifted posting it to next week instead.
So for now, check out the article that I wrote for Alyssa Dyck’s website about finding community!
And if you’re a fan of funny, cozy fantasy, be sure to read my latest short story: The Origins of S.O.A.P.
(It’s completely free!)
Before You Go…
What are you grateful for this week?
Let me know down in the comments. Let’s talk about the good things God has placed in our lives!