Pressing Pause

Sometimes life feels like it’s moving way too fast, like some sort of confusing action/thriller movie. 

But unlike a movie, there’s no button you can press to pause life while you try to figure out what’s going on with the plot.

Life Update

In the past two and a half weeks, I graduated from my two year writer apprenticeship at The Company, moved out of my apartment, celebrated my father’s birthday, and traveled to Tennessee with my family. 

While we were in Tennessee we received word that my grandfather passed away, so we drove back home that same day and left for the Netherlands the next morning.

Between the sudden flight out of the country and severe jet-lag, I have no idea what time it is—or what day it is for that matter (so I’m really hoping that this blog will be coherent).

I’m pretty sure my mind started spinning the week I graduated and hasn’t stopped since.

When Plans Change

I had a lot of plans for what I was going to do after I graduated because I didn’t want to lose the momentum I had gained in my writing and professional life by taking too much time to rest and spend time with family. But obviously, things don’t always go the way we plan.

Right now, I know it’s important that I work through my emotions and spend time with my family, so it’s so strange to me that I feel so guilty about not working as much as I “should”.

Growing Guilt

I enjoy writing. I like using my brain creatively and telling stories. 

It’s something that I love to do, so it doesn’t always feel like work. In fact, writing used to be a coping mechanism for me whenever I was upset or even sick, so I’m used to writing no matter how bad I feel. 

And I think that’s part of why I feel so guilty now. 

I feel like I shouldn’t make any excuses for why I’m not writing as much as I have in the past. I feel like if I really wanted to write more, I would. And I should. 

I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself since it’s been about four weeks since I published my newest book, The Librarian’s Ruse, and my top writing priority is finishing the second book in the series.

But writing isn’t as important as my family. And feeling guilty about not writing isn’t going to help me write my book.

So that’s why I’m trying a new method.

No Expectations

I know that telling myself to forget about writing and only focus on my feelings and my family right now won’t help me since telling myself not to do something is the best way to make me want to do it.

So instead, I’m giving myself two weeks of no expectations. I don’t have to write, or post to social media, but if I feel like doing it and I do write or post, then great! Instead of it being a “must” it’s a bonus.

Deadlines

I also made a couple of deadlines for my writing projects before I knew I’d be traveling, and I’ve decided to keep them in place for now. 

If they need to be adjusted later on then that’s fine, but with my particular personality, having a deadline will help me make sure that the expectations I do have for myself are more reasonable.

My hope is that experimenting with different methods like this will help me find solutions for writing habits that aren’t helpful, so I’ll keep you updated on how/if it’s working for me.

Before You Go…

Do you find it difficult to write when there’s a lot going on in your life? Do you think that your expectations for yourself are reasonable?

Let me know down in the comments!

Read last week’s blog here!