I Have A Confession to Make:

I am an author.

You probably already knew that since I mention it in nearly every article I post. In fact, you may have even read The Librarian’s Ruse, or Lawless for yourself. 

But sometimes I need a reminder that I’m not “sort of a writer” or “kinda an author.” 

I am an author, and even if I never published another book, that fact will never change. (I will be publishing more books though, so don’t worry… The sequel to The Librarian’s Ruse is in the final stages of the publication process as I write this post)

Experience VS Age

As a twenty-year-old author, I consider myself to be fairly young—and there’s still a lot that I don’t know. 

I have a lot of experience copywriting, copy editing, developmental editing, etc. thanks to the different projects I’ve worked on in the past, and I still have a desire to continue learning and growing my skills.

But even with all my experience working with writers to improve their stories, there’s always been whispers of doubt in my ears saying “You’re way too young to be talented” or “No one actually takes you seriously, they’re all just pretending.”

When I take the time to think about it, I realize how paranoid those thoughts make me sound. 

Sure, maybe one or two people were lying, and they actually didn’t appreciate my help… But dozens of them?

And what about all the people who read The Librarian’s Ruse and left reviews? Maybe some of them gave me more stars than they really wanted to, but what are the chances that everyone did?

Either way, self-doubt can be crippling. 

My self-doubt stems from a fear of failure, or disappointing those I look up to. This fear is what tempts me to say no to good opportunities and new experiences. 

And if I let fear control me, then yes, I’ll be able to say that “I never failed.” But I’ll also have to admit to myself and to God that I never even tried.

A Professional Older Person

Last week I got a message on Pinterest from someone asking me for some writing advice, and it genuinely shocked me when I was referred to as a “professional older person” in the message.

Of course, my first thought was that two decades isn’t that old. I mean, like I said before, there’s still a lot that I don’t know, and there are people twice my age with tons of experience in writing and in life.

But I was the one that this young writer asked for help, so instead of making excuses or brushing her off, I wanted to honor her request, and answer her questions.

It’s All About Perception 

There’s a reason that the expression is called “picture perfect” and not “video perfect”.

There are so many writers (and people in general) in my life who I look at and think, “Wow, they’ve really got it all together” only for them to say the exact same thing about me.

Which made me realize a couple things.

One, people cannot read minds. They can’t see into my head and find out just how messy my thoughts are, or how inadequate I feel I am. They only know what I tell them, or what they can actually see me doing.

And two, no matter how old, young, or experienced I am, there will always be people who are more experienced or less experienced than me—and that’s okay. In fact, it’s great!

I love learning from other people, and I love teaching. I enjoy sharing my time and knowledge with people who want to know more about a topic I’m familiar with, and I never get tired of asking or answering questions.

The Daily Battle With Self-Doubt

Sure, I still doubt my abilities sometimes, and when I work with my clients I worry about doing the best job that I possibly can. 

But I don’t believe that self-doubt is a one-battle-and-done thing. 

Each day I need to make the choice to push past my fears and say yes to the projects, events, and people that God is leading me toward.

And instead of putting myself down or comparing myself to other people, I need to focus on being the person who God is calling me to be.

After all, if I spend all my time doubting and being afraid, when will I ever have time to write?

Before You Go…

How do you usually deal with self-doubt?

Let me know down in the comments, I’d love to hear your perspective!

Check out my last article here!

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