Ups & Downs

Life is full of ups and downs. I’m personally more of a “bad news first, good news later” person, so let’s talk about the downs before we celebrate the ups!

Allergic to Writing

I’m currently in the middle of writing the second book in the Adventures In Eldnaire series, and it’s been a long and challenging journey.

Part of that can be blamed on all the wild stuff that has been going on in my life (graduating, moving, traveling, my grandfather dying—which led us to stay in The Netherlands for a month to settle his affairs, coming home to a garage filled with boxes full of my belongings that I never got a chance to unpack, and some various family matters that have been difficult for me to deal with).

My life has felt so scattered and unstable lately that it doesn’t even seem real. And as excited as I am to finish the second book, I’ve had no desire to write for the past month, so every writing session usually starts with an encouraging pep talk—from myself to myself—in order to get myself to write. It was sort of like taking a tired dog on a walk, only to find yourself dragging it behind you by the leash.

To quote one of my fellow writers, it felt like I was “allergic” to writing.

Just the thought of sitting down to write made me feel uncomfortable—like spiders were crawling all over my skin—but I chalked it all up to perfectionism and forced myself to keep going.

When Reality Meets Fantasy

Perfectionism is definitely a problem I struggle with, but that’s not the main reason I’ve been having such a hard time writing this book.

I absolutely love the characters, places, and plot that I developed for this story, and that’s why it was so odd that I’ve had such an aversion to writing it.

I’ve found in the past that when writing about fictional worlds becomes difficult for me, it’s usually because there’s something happening in the real world that’s affecting the way I write—and this case was no different.

I was so proud of myself for being “emotionally responsible” and giving myself permission to “not write” for a few weeks while I was in the Netherlands, but it was all a lie. I may not have been actively writing all the time, but I was actively thinking about writing all the time—which was basically the same thing since I never actually gave myself a chance to rest and work through my emotions properly.

And the emotions always have to go somewhere…

Blaming The Book

Last night I got so discouraged by my apparent aversion to writing, that I started questioning if I had hit the infamous “writer’s block.” 

So I reopened my laptop and started writing a completely different story as an experiment. 30 minutes and 800 words later, I realized that I was a lot of things, but “allergic to writing” wasn’t one of them.

That’s when I realized that all the negative emotions I “lost” have been directed toward my book, as if my book were to blame for all the painful experiences I’ve been through over the last few months.

I really thought I was doing a great job by not allowing my feelings to get in the way of my writing. But the truth is that letting my writing get in the way of my feelings is what made me despise my writing.

I’m disappointed that I’ve been shooting myself in the foot this whole time without realizing it, but I’m glad that I finally figured it out because that means I have the opportunity to fix it.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that writing is something that I love to do, and this is one of those times…

The Good News

I am so grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given since I first started down the path of becoming an author.

God has shown up for me in so many ways, from providing rent money from unexpected sources the day before it was due, to having people text me with encouragement on rough days.

Without a doubt, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for all the blessings God has given me (stuff like getting interviewed, having a guest blogger, getting phenomenal reviews on my book, becoming an author for the Lawless project, and getting booked for an upcoming speaking engagement).

Giveaway Time!

And recently I’ve even joined forces with eleven other authors for a giveaway!

There are twelve clean romance/fantasy books in this giveaway, and it ends November 6th at 11:59pm. Twelve winners will be announced, and each of them will be given a random book from the list.

Some of the books in this giveaway look and sound amazing, so I’d definitely encourage you to enter! (I mean, who doesn’t love free books?)

Click here to enter the giveaway!

Before You Go…

Let’s celebrate some more “ups!” What in your life is going great right now?

I’d love to hear about it!

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